I got 99 problems...

Our lives are made up of relationships. From the people we do business with, to the people who serve our coffee, to the people we share a bed with, our lives exist in relationships. Some of these relationships are easy and positive, some are extremely difficult and painful. One of the most difficult relationships we typically have is with our Ex’s. It becomes even more complicated when our future is tied to them,  by a child, by a financial investment or by a mutual community.

So how do we shift from anger to love? From frustration to compassion? There was a reason we started dating our Ex's in the first place, something that pulled us to them, something that made us feel love and connection.  But then something happens that ends that experience of love and replaces it with resignation, resentment, frustration, anger. 

I recently completed an individual coaching program with a client who was dealing with an ex-husband that she needed to continue a relationship with since they shared a son. She had gone through some tough things with this ex and had ended their marriage many years back. She was able to share with me many examples of how he was a jerk and how dealing with him made life stressful for her, their son and their extended families. Although she had good reason to be upset, the fact was that her quality of life suffered because of this relationship. 

When we were able to detach the breakdowns that had happened in their past relationship from who her Ex was, she was able to take responsibility for her part in the relationship and commit to a new future for her and her family. She just sent this message to me and it brought me to tears so I wanted to share with you all!

“Good morning you beautiful soul you! I want to once again thank you for helping me to release the negative feelings I've held onto for the past 15 years. My son got his drivers permit in December and both me and his dad went with him to get it. We even drove in the car together!  
Then, I sent him the info for our vacation and I pulled my son out of school 3 days early. In the past, my Ex would have made a big issue with this.  This time…. nothing! Not a single word about it. My Ex’s other son just had his one-year birthday and I sent him a gift. I got a message back from his new wife, thanking me.  
But the best part- my son is so much happier. He doesn't go and hide in his room to talk to his dad anymore. He talks to him right in front of us. I know that the stress he's felt all these years from the animosity is gone. I don't know why it took me this long to let it go. But I did it and it feels great!!! I had kept all these emotions trapped and it actually bonded me to the negativity. Now I feel so free!
If it wasn't for you to push me to do that, I don't think I would have ever initiated that on my own. Thank you from the bottom of my heart!!! YOU and YOUR work are something special! Happy new year to you! I wish only positive vibes to come your way always and forever!!”

As we enter the new year this is a beautiful time to let go of past negativity and clear space for what you want in your life. 

with love- E